


Teddy Bear Proposal

by mellyb6



Series: The Leo (not Dicaprio) spin off spin off series [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), leo (not) dicaprio
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hospital, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Modern AU, Multi, Panic Attacks, baby Vanilla, ex boyfriends, this is angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 17:24:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16141958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellyb6/pseuds/mellyb6
Summary: A hospital room, a chance encounter, a life-changing day in Leo and Nora's life.





	Teddy Bear Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> -I'm no doctor, stuff will most probablybe inaccurate but that's not the point of the fic.  
> -I'm sorry if you suffer through this but I suffered writing it.  
> -Baby Vanilla was born in the spring (said Maia).

Leo fast walks to the desk, ending what felt like a sprint. He's surrounded by loud noises and people everywhere and he slams both hands on the cold hard surface, forgetting he's gripping his phone tightly. The nurse looks up at him.

 

“Can I help you?” he sounds bored, used to dealing with panicking patients and families. Leo swallows hard.

 

“I'm looking for Nora Abney. I'm her emergency contact. Someone called me. Said she was here.”

 

He would have had a heart attack when the hospital called. Except Nora's colleagues had already reached out to him when the ambulance had taken her away. So he'd sat, frozen at his desk and he'd felt time stop for a few seconds. He's still running on adrenaline. Scared. Terrified. He can hear his heartbeat pulsating in his ears. He wants to throw up.

 

The sound of the nurse typing on the keyboard is sickening. It's stretching into actual minutes.

 

“Nora Abney, yes. Admitted at 11.17am. Doctor Langdon saw her. She's not here anymore. She's been transferred to the ob-gyn ward.”

 

“Where is that?”

 

“4th floor. Room 4-14.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Leo wheels around, stops when he realizes he has no idea how to get there. He manages to process the directions the nurse gives him amid the buzzing in his brain.

 

It's quieter on the 4th floor. Calm. There are flowers on this desk and two nurses chatting while they work. One of them smiles brightly when she notices Leo. He doesn't stop for them, though. He heads straight down the hallway, looking for Nora's room. He can hear his heart break with dread when he finds it and he can see how many people there are around his girlfriend. He has no idea what's going on, nobody has told him anything but Nora's on a hospital bed, apparently unconscious and she's hooked to machines. That's never good.

 

Leo's breathless watching through the glass wall. His fingers are shaking when he rests them against the cool glass.

 

One of the nurses inside looks up from a chart, notices him and then there's a doctor in a white blouse coming to meet him. Smiling kindly yet sadly. Leo hates it.

 

“Are you family?”

 

“Yes.” It doesn't matter if officially they aren't. He waves his phone. “I'm her emergency contact. I guess E.R. contacted me earlier?”

 

“Of course. I'm Doctor Rowe.”

 

“Hi. How....how is she? What's happened?”

 

“She's been unconscious since she's been here. She's lost a lot of blood so she's being transfused as we speak. She's out of danger, though, but her blood pressure is really low and....”

 

Then there's a whole bunch of numbers Leo doesn't care about and the doctor mentions Nora will need to stay overnight and this is shattering because is she ill? He had no idea she was ill. Blood? He feels sick himself. What even is happening? His mind is spiraling, the hallway feels wobbly.

 

“She should eventually be fine,” the doctor tries to reassure him. “But, uh...,” he's careful now, slow with his words, eyeing him closely. “There was unfortunately nothing that could be done about the baby. It was too early in her pregnancy. I'm sorry. This type of miscarriage sometimes happens spontaneously and...”

 

“Woah, woah, woah. Wait. Stop.” Leo holds a hand up and there's only white noise around him but it's loud. So loud. Crashing on him.

 

“What baby?”

 

Leo braces himself on the wall, eyes glancing at Nora every other second and he wants nothing more but to be by her side.

 

“There was a...baby? I...how...”

 

He loathes looking at the doctor now because what even is this conversation they are having? There's only pity and compassion in his eyes as it downs on him that he's just announced to his patient's family that she was expecting at the exact same time he's told them she'd lost that very baby.

 

Leo feels all the blood leave his face and his lungs constrict. What is this nightmare he's currently living?

 

“There was. I'm sorry. Do you need....”

 

“But _she_ 'll be okay?”

 

“Yes. With the proper...”

 

“Can I see her?” Leo can't help interrupting. In the space of a few minutes he's learned heartbreaking news but Nora is right there on the other side of the glass. She's real and she's still alive and he needs to hold her close. To touch her at the very least. He'll have time to process the rest later.

 

He has to wait a couple more minutes that he spends drumming his fingers on the window, staring so intently at his girlfriend he doesn't even think of blinking. _Baby. Nora was_....

 

Nora is asleep, or unconscious still and she's pale. So pale. Leo tries to stop the trembling in his hand when he sits by her bed, finally alone with her. Sure, she felt a bit under the weather this morning. She hardly touched breakfast but there was no reason to think they would end up in this situation hours later. Leo doesn't understand. He wants to cry, because it's overwhelming and it's unfair and he loves her so much, he wants her to wake up.

 

She doesn't look to be in too much pain, though. Her forehead is cool when he brushes his lips to it.

 

“Hi, warrior,” he whispers and he wishes that stroking her temple and her hair would be enough for her to open her eyes. “I'm here. You can wake up now.”

 

He traces the edge of the plastic bracelet on her wrist, tries to cancel out the bipping of the medical equipment. It's oppressing. He clutches her fingers.

 

Clutches and clutches. He can't help the bouncing in his leg. He's helpless and powerless and he doesn't know what to do with himself. With the new information dumped on him. Is he supposed to be grieving? To be upset? Is he supposed to be mad? He can't feel anything but the profund desire for Nora to come back to him so he can start breathing normally again.

 

Earlier he'd thought he was going to lose her for good, forever and it's shaken him to the core. He's numb. Flabbergasted by his emotions.

 

Fifteen minutes of silence with no improvement. Silence constantly interrupted by Leo kissing Nora's knuckles and his fidgeting. Fifteen minutes until he can't take it anymore and decides he needs some air. He almost pounces off his seat and outside the room.

 

His heart needs space and he takes a deep breath once he reaches the ground floor and he's out on the plaza in front of the building. There's a light breeze and the weather is quite nice for early July.

 

He closes his eyes, dries his palms on the sleeves of his jacket and hugs himself close. Eyes closed and sunshine on his face. It blocks out the people hurrying around him. The chatter and all the smells. Coffee and fumes and cigarettes and food. Life keeps going on while his is literally exploding. It's out of control and no one has any idea. He's too shocked to even want to scream. _Nora is gonna be okay._

 

Leo doesn't realize he's been pacing until a distant, somewhat familiar voice calls out his name and his eyes snap open.

 

Fuck, he thinks when he notices who's been calling out to him. Shit. Of all places. Of all days. Fuck his life.

 

“It _is_ you! Magnus wasn't sure he'd recognized you correctly. Wow. Fancy seeing you here.”

 

Alec sounds pleasantly surprised as they both walk towards him. Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. His ex and his husband were so down the list of people he wanted to see today. Not that he wants to see anyone. He only wants Nora. _Nora and_...

 

“Hi,” Leo says weakly. The entire situation is awkward. At least there's Vanilla to provide grounds for small talk. _Baby..._ “Is everything okay with you guys?”

 

“Oh, yes! Top shape! We came for that young lady's check up and everything's great! She was born here you know, and...”

 

She's sleeping in Magnus' arms while he goes on and on. A tiny, tiny baby, only a couple of months old. Leo has no idea where it comes from but he's suddenly unable to look at either of them. All happy and glowing with their child. He's aware he gives off kind of a rude vibe but it's the least of his worries.

 

“Is everything...all right, Leo?” Alec hesitates, narrowing his eyes because his ex's behavior is so erratic and so jumpy, somehow he knows the answer will be a negative one.

 

“Nora...,” is all Leo can choke up and then he's running a hand over his face. He doesn't see the worried look which passes between Magnus and Alec.

 

“Has she been injured?” Alec doesn't know if he should take a step forward or not. They hardly keep in touch these days, why would they? And yet when someone seems on the verge of breaking down in front of him, he has to step up and comfort them.

 

Leo shakes his head, shrugs, wills the tears back inside because it's embarassing.

 

“She'll...she'll be fine. She's unconscious because of...blood and she's...she's...miscarried and oh, God.”

 

_Baby._

 

“Leo, I'm sorry.”

 

“ _We'_ re sorry.”

 

“I had no idea she was pregnant,” Alec adds softly.

 

Leo laughs out loud, which clearly isn't the expected reaction. He throws both hands in the air.

 

“Neither did I. I...don't know...I...”

 

“Hey, hey, calm down. Breathe.” Alec is close now, worry in his voice, a firm hand on his back as Leo bends over.

 

He's so hot all of a sudden, to have said it out loud. There are white spots flashing behind his closed eyelids. He can't escape the pulsing in his chest, how everything shrinks on itself. Alec and Magnus are talking over him. To him.

 

“Are you by yourself?”

 

“Nora's here.”

 

“Yes. No. Is somebody else here with you two?”

 

“No. Just me. And I don't know who to call because she's unconscious and I don't know who knew, I mean, no one coz we didn't and I don't want to...”

 

“Ok, ok. We've got you. You're okay. Come on. Sit down.”

 

Leo is vaguely aware he's protesting because they don't want to waste their time with him, they have better things to do. But on the other hand it's nice and comforting to recline on a bench in the shade and to get help breathing. In and out, in and out and Leo's heartbeat slows down eventually. Air passes through his lungs again.

 

Someone shushes him and that makes him crack his eyes open once more. Except Magnus isn't shushing _him_. He's shushing and humming to his daughter who is waking up. The baby has blue round eyes and the tiniest ears and the smallest fingers escaping from her blanket and looking at her is both devastating and soothing. The calm she inspires. How she's protected and loved.

 

“Gosh,” Leo mutters. “Sorry about that.”

 

“Hey now, don't be. You have all the reasons in the world to break down. Alexander went to get you something to eat.”

 

Magnus looks at Leo with kindness. Him, a random stranger, his husband's ex boyfriend. If they've spent 5 hours together in all of their life, that's the extent of their acquaintance.

 

Leo was aware of how kind Alec has always been. He should have expected the man he married to be the same.

 

“I couldn't say upstairs, you know?” he starts rambling. “She wasn't awake and I felt...useless.”

 

Magnus only nods, plays with Vanilla's fingers. Leo can't stop staring.

 

“I don't...I don't even know what I'm supposed to feel.”

 

“You're not _supposed_ to feel anything.”

 

“Should I be heartbroken?” Leo continues as if he hasn't heard anything. “I mean, an hour ago I didn't even know and God...I just want her back.”

 

“She will be. That's what the doctors said, didn't they?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“So she will be. She'll get better.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Vanilla makes baby noises and then she looks straight at Leo when he sniffles. She's probably too young to see him properly but she's heard the noise. He knows next to nothing about babies but he believes she's cute? He was an asshole for hating them for having her earlier.

 

Alec is striding back towards them, looking like he's raided the coffee shop. He's relieved Leo isn't in the middle of a panic attack anymore but there are tears in his red eyes. Sugar might not mend broken hearts, it can certainly soften blows.

 

“All right. So you get a choice of coffee, iced coffee, hot chocolate, tea or water.”

 

“Iced coffee,” Leo replies in a second and Alec grins because some things never change.

 

“And I've got you a cinammon roll because you always were a sucker for those.”

 

“I still am. Thank you.” It sticks to his fingers but it smells heavenly.

 

“Good. I got you one, too,” Alec says, sitting down by Magnus' side.

 

He picks a drink for himself and Leo is content watching them be domestic for a while. He bites on his straw, chews on his pastry, actually really glad for the others' presence now. He watches as Alec feeds little bites to his husband since Magnus literally has his hands full. Alec laughs when Magnus licks his finger.

 

Everything about them is pure love and it's not even upsetting to watch because Leo has someone waiting for him. Someone he loves with his whole heart. His entire being. Because thinking of Nora, of her smile and her laughter, and how her hair tickles his neck whenever he gives her piggy back rides, it settles him. To think about this, all their months together. Their years. Not the current tragedy. Thinking about all the good stuff will help him power through the bad, difficult times.

 

The way she scrunches her nose when she ponders if something needs ironing or not. How she bites her nail when she's engrossed in a book. How she tucks her hair behind her ear whenever someone pays her a compliment. How she twirls around in the kitchen when they listen to music while cooking.

 

It's good. So incredibly good. Leo smiles dreamily and for a few seconds, he's fine. He has no idea how to handle the rest of the day but as long as Nora is well, he'll be fine.

 

Babies were never on his radar until today, except from a distance and now it's somewhat all he can think about. That and Nora, _Nora, Nora_. How she'll react and how he'll manage to comfort her. Whether he'll manage to. So, so much on his mind, he can't focus on anything until Vanilla stares right at him again and _that_ 's soothing.

 

He smiles at her, brushes a shy finger to her small hand.

 

He stands up, his pastry all gone, his coffee cup still half full.

 

“Thank you, guys. I'm sorry for...the meltdown.” He gestures at nothing and they're both quick to dismiss the apology. They're glad they could help. “This isn't how I imagined we'd bump into each other again. Or ever.”

 

Alec chuckles. “Yeah. That makes two of us.”

 

“Three,” Magnus jokes and then he adds “Four,” when Vanilla gargles. They all laugh at the sound before, for a brief second, Alec stands up too and hugs Leo tightly. Really tight. Leo sinks into it, hand sticky and coffee cup in the other so he can't quite reciprocate.

 

“We'll be thinking of you both,” Alec assures him when he pulls back and it's a genuine promise.

 

There's an awkward moment when Leo isn't sure how to say goodbye until Magnus holds his hand out to shake. He's certain at one point they'll all find the whole situation incongruous, out of this world. To have been thrust together at such a terrible time, with no warning. There was no real catching up, Leo didn't even think of asking about their other daughter, about their lives in general. There was no real small talk. Only a strange, unexpected bubble of comfort.

 

Magnus and Alec are both focused on the baby when Leo goes through the revolving doors and catches a last glimpse of them. Then they're gone, out of sight as fast as they've arrived and Leo climbs up the flights of stairs, needing the exercise. Too much tension in his blood.

 

Nora's awake, he realizes when he quietly opens the door of her hospital room and she turns her head at the sound.

 

“They told me you were around here somewhere.” It's only a whisper, her voice hoarse. Leo brushes a kiss to her forehead, one to her cheek, one to her lips. It's soft.

 

“Hey, beautiful.”

 

He's so incredibly relieved she's awake and talking, he can't help but touch her. Her face, her arm, afraid he might hurt her. He sits down, so close to the bed. Nora grips his fingers.

 

“You scared the shit out of me,” he confesses. There's a tremor in his words betraying his emotions. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

 

“Not me. I'm here.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Her lips are desperate against his, her eyes are shining when he pulls away. Their foreheads are practically touching. Not a word of their conversation is for anyone but them.

 

“Did they tell you?” Her hand instinctively comes to rest on her lower stomach and Leo's heart breaks. He realizes at one point he'll start grieving something he didn't even know they had until they lost it. Something he wasn't even aware he wanted.

 

“Yes. Are you...are you in pain?”

 

“A little. They gave me painkillers.”

 

She winces and he brushes her hair softly. Nora closes her eyes at the touch. She wishes she could have the willpower to focus solely on that but she's not strong enough.

 

“I'm sorry,” she chokes on a silent sob and Leo wipes away the few tears rolling down her cheeks.

 

“There's no need to be.”

 

Nora clutches the teddy bear he's bought downstairs in the gift shop and he's put by her side. Her nails dig into it. Sharp enough to rip it apart. Guilt and regrets and resentment. Too much at once. A flood of emotions and Leo is so loving, she can't. More tears. She's openly crying now.

 

“Nora, baby. I'm here. It'll be okay. Scoot over,” he eventually decides. He doesn't care if it's not allowed. The only thing he cares about is not hurting his girlfriend when he lies on the bed with her. He gathers her in his arms, the teddy bear squashed between them. She loosely hugs his waist, desperately seeking comfort. “It's gonna be okay.” He kisses the top of her head.

 

She sniffles, stammers for words.

 

“I knew, Leo. I've known for a few days and I...I didn't know how to tell you and that's how you find out only for it to be....and I get it if you hate me.”

 

“I could never hate you,” he replies so fast, still letting her words sink. Stunned a little more but really, “I could never. I love you.”

 

“It's just...it was an accident and it wasn't the plan and I didn't know...I mean, what you would say and now there's nothing to say and it's gone as fast as it...”

 

She'd started to come to terms with the idea, after less than a week of knowing she was pregnant. She'd started to enjoy thinking about it. Only for it to be snatched away. And for her boyfriend to be left feeling left aside.

 

“Don't worry about any of that. It's in the past now. But you know that you can talk to me about anything, right? Especially these things. You have nothing to be afraid of.” She nods against his chest.

 

Is he pissed she didn't tell him straight away? Hell yes, he is. But he can't dump this on her now. Not when she's weak and vulnerable. He'd be an asshole. So he pushes the feeling way down for later and chooses to focus on her instead.

 

“I'm sorry this happened to you.”

 

“To us,” she corrects.

 

“Yeah. There'll be others. When we actually want them. Not that...I mean, you know what I mean.”

 

“Others?” Nora perks up.

 

“Yes. Of course. _Of course_ I want to have kids with you, Nora. I want to spend my life with you and a bunch of kids.”

 

“Perhaps not a bunch. But a couple, I'd like that.”

 

“We'll have twins and we'll live our best lives, just the four of us. When we're ready.”

 

“Okay.” Nora smiles against his tee-shirt, relieved. A little bit. Heartbroken and hurting still, but safe and cherished and she knows she won't have to go through it alone.

 

Leo's phone buzzes in his backpocket. It's a stretch to grab it. He shakes his head at the text.

 

Alec _What's Nora's room number?_

 

“Did you tell anyone what happened?” Nora asks.

 

“Not yet. Do you want me to?”

 

He texts back over her head, with one hand.

 

_You've done enough already. You don't have to._

 

_Room number?_

 

_4-14. You're infuriating._

 

Alec leaves him on read and Leo takes a deep breath. Alec definitely is a great guy. Him and Magnus and he's glad he's run into them in the end.

 

“No,” Nora replies. “I don't need anybody else.”

 

She looks up to kiss him but their position isn't ideal so she only manages to kiss his stubble. He rubs her back.

 

“You can't even imagine how much I freaked out when they told me you were in the hospital. Not knowing what was happening, it was terrifying.” He hugs her a little tighter. She grabs a handful of his tee-shirt. His voice is shaky but he's never been more sure of anything in his life. “I don't think I can live without you. I know this is terrible timing and that we've joked about it in the past but you're badass. You're my badass and I want, I really, really want to marry you.”

 

“I thought I'd already said yes to that.”

 

“You did. But like soon. Very soon.”

 

“Very soon is good.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yes. Let's do that. This can be my engagement ring,” she decides, toying with the teddy bear. Leo would laugh if she didn't sound dead serious.

 

“Let's get married by the Trevi Fountain, get a place with view on the Colosseum and live off gelato and pizza.”

 

“Forever?”

 

“Do you speak Italian?”

 

“The two words you said. You?”

 

“I know pasta, too. We'll learn.”

 

“Forever, then.”

 

Nora nods, content. Unable to truly realize what they're discussing because she's still grieving. In shock. Her chest rises with short breaths. She shuffles even closer to her boyfriend.

 

“I think I need to cry a little more.”

 

“I'm right here with you. Not going anywhere.”

 

Leo hardly even moves when there's a knock on the door and the delivery boy deposits flowers and chocolates on the tiny bedside table. He gathers his abandoned phone, takes note of the notifications from Nora's boss and colleagues yet does nothing about them.

 

_Thank you,_ he texts Alec instead.

 

_No problem. You tell Nora to get better. And you too._

 

Leo sighs, chuckles to himself and Nora slowly drifts awake from the chaotic nap she was trying to take. She's exhausted. There are nice new smells in the room, which don't belong in a hospital.

 

“Are those from you?”

 

“Nah. You'll never guess who I saw earlier.”

 

“Tell me.” She munches on the chocolate he feeds her slowly and it warms her from the inside out. A small pocket of happiness.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry!!!!


End file.
